He Likes His Weiners Black & Oh, God, Do I Need a Drink!

First order of business.  My significant other has objected to his presence on the worldwideintronets.  You think that’s bad?  I got forbode!  Not only am I not allowed to talk about a really funny thing he did yesterday, I am no longer allowed to use his real name.  He is apparently some type of government witness, terrorist, fugitive from the law, or secret agent in addition to the whole elusive bovine thing.  So from now on, I shall call him Spanky.  (He most definitely asked fer it.)  And no one shall know who this mysterious Spanky is, I am certain of it.  I do however feel that this whole business is discrimination, as others routinely mention his given name with no repercussions whatsoever.  In fact, Rusty Cage posted both his picture and a mention of his abiding affinity for black wieners on his flickr page, and he got off scot free!  Beyond that, Spanky himself has his very own webpage, with his very own picture! So as soon as I complete my bitching and moaning here, I shall immediately write my congressman, which I learned at poker nights from the master of such gambits, the divine Miss H (you do still have that direct line to Allan Bense I hope?), and then I will contact my local chapter of the ACLU.  I know my rights!  FORBODE, he says!  Hrmmph!  I’ll teach you to persecute me, Spanky McSpankerton.

Now that I have gotten that gross injustice off my chest, I shall move on to the next thing that is troubling my poor mind.  A blog that I started writing the other night when I couldn’t sleep, and then in typical mesogoodatprocrastinating fashion, left behind.  I just read more of this asshole’s stuff, (why do I torture myself so?) and so I am fired up all over again.  Now I shall attempt to finish what I started.

Shortly after signing up for MySpace, I got meningitis and was bedridden for about a month.  Despite what my Granny says, I am pretty certain my illness had nothing whatsoever to do with the computer.  It did, however, contribute to my spending copious amounts of time with my laptop, and going on a bit of a MySpace rampage for a little while there. Though I have no recollection whatsoever of doing so, I at some point in my drug induced haze subscribed to this gentleman’s blog, among many, many others.  (Who IS this guy?)  I almost never read them, but last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to catch up on all my blog subscriptions.  There were a lot of really enjoyable ones from Mary Magdalene, who is always so well-written and highly entertaining if you want to check her out.  And there was also a LOT of crap.  And I tried to let it go.  But those of you who know me, well, you know that like Bon Jovi, I like to hold on to what I’ve got.  Not so much a letter go-er.  But I did uncharacteristically well.  Until this one.  And this one just got under my skin.  And I’m not even remotely Republican, or much of a Giuliani fan.  But this guy had 528 comments on his blog when I read it last night.  Most of them from some pretty close to illiterate borderline crazies (that’s the nicest word I could come up with. I’m sorry, I typed and deleted four others before ‘crazies’), with some of the weakest and most fallacious arguments I’ve heard since back in my babysitting days.

The weirdo blog guy said feel free to repost his tripe, so I am going to repost it here for your viewing pleasure.  I'd hate for you to take my opinion.

Giuliani. An abortion doctor’s best friend?

Rudy Giuliani is the Corleone's leading candidate for President of the United States. Although Mr. Giuliani is a likeable guy with plenty of charisma I believe his political views, which served him well in New York City, will ultimately prevent him from being the President of the United States. In my opinion Rudy Giuliani represents what's wrong with the Corleone party. My issue with Rudy Giuliani has to do with the disingenuous reasoning he offers in support of his liberal views. And more specifically his controversial views on abortion. We've debated the abortion issue in the past and Mr. Giuliani defends state funded abortion on the grounds that it's a "Constitutional Right". We all have different views on abortion and I'm not here to debate that issue but rather the flawed logic of Giuliani's position. Why does the state have to fund abortion simply because it's a constitutional right? We also have a right to bare arms but the government is not required to purchase every citizen a firearm. We have a constitutional right to attend church, but the government is not required to build the church, pay the pastor, and mop the floors. I'm sure anyone in favor of gun control would complain very loudly and cry foul if we all received a revolver from Uncle Sam when we turned 18? If we wanted to tug at the heart strings we could provide guns for anyone who is too poor to afford a gun of their own. This would use the same flawed logic of those who want to provide state funded abortions for the indigent. Ironically, the same man who defends the state government's funding of abortion on constitutional grounds is also in favor of gun control. I thought he was a champion of our constitutional rights and the government funding it? I guess he only defers to our constitutional rights when it fits his political agenda and not because he has a well reasoned view of the law and our rights under the law. He's what used to be known as a flimflam man. When the state gets into funding what many argue is a "private decision" then it becomes a very public decision, since all of us are involved in that mother's choice to abort her baby. And for everyone who believes that abortion is murder by paying taxes that will go toward the agenda of pro-abortionists the taxpayers indirectly fund murder. The hypocrisy of those who defend publicly funded abortions can be illustrated by simply highlighting situations where the state funds actions they disagree with vehemently. That's when we see that it's not about fairness or constitutional rights, but about their political agenda to force everyone to pay for their personal causes. If you're pro-abortion consider how you would feel if the state funded people to block the doors of the abortion clinics and hand out flyers. After all freedom of speech is a constitutional right! And further your tax dollars went toward groups that would follow abortion doctors 24/7 with placards showing aborted babies. I'm guessing you wouldn't like it. The President of the United States swears an oath of allegiance to the Constitution of the United States. If Mr. Giuliani wants to play fast and loose with the Constitution then I have absolutely no faith in him applying the principles upon which it was founded. -Mystery Cookie ** You have my permission to repost this in your blogs, bulletins, etc.

“My issue with Rudy Giuliani has to do with the disingenuous reasoning he offers in support of his liberal views. And more specifically his controversial views on abortion. We've debated the abortion issue in the past and Mr. Giuliani defends state funded abortion on the grounds that it's a "Constitutional Right". We all have different views on abortion and I'm not here to debate that issue but rather the flawed logic of Giuliani's position.”

I’m not convinced that Rudy is the only one being either disingenuous or exercising flawed logic, if he is doing so at all.  First of all, on the issue of abortion itself, his pro-choice view stems from his recognition of the importance of individual freedom.  His personal feelings toward abortion are not warm and fuzzy ones.  It also  bears mentioning that the concept of individual freedom, the freedom to go about your business with as little government intrusion as possible has long been a central tenet of conservatism.  

“Constitutional Right” is quoted, capitalized and referred back to so often that you’d think Mr. Giuliani claimed the right to an abortion was laid right out there in the Bill of Rights by Jefferson himself.  But it wasn’t, and he didn’t.  Surprised?  The fact is, however much you may not like it now (you NEVER know when something may happen to change that fact), women in this country do, in fact, have the legal right to have an abortion if that is what they choose to do.   Mr. Giuliani was not suggesting that we give them away in high schools or set up a booth at the county fair.  He was talking about revoking the Hyde Amendment, which was passed to prevent Medicaid Funds being used to cover abortions, under ANY circumstances, now.  In many states, even women in medical danger are not covered under Medicaid for abortions.  That’s just fucked, in my opionion.  And for all you self-righteous pro-lifers who like to say well abortion is only OK in certain situations like incest and rape.  Well, that’s all well and good if you’re being raped by your wealthy daddy.  But for those indigent 13 year-olds who get knocked up by their crack head uncles or neighbors, or whoever, Medicaid doesn’t pay for shit. 

What really got me was all these people complaining about how their tax dollars should not be used to support something they don’t believe in and consider to be murder.  Um, seriously?  You don’t want your tax dollars paying for a 300 dollar medical procedure, but you don’t mind financing a multi-billion dollar war that’s murdering hundreds of thousands of men, women, children, American soldiers.  And what about the fucking death penalty?  I’m against that.  But the government has no problem using my tax dollars to murder people that way.  Fucking retards.  And these same retards also don’t want their tax dollars being used to support that thirteen year old’s baby either, I guarandamntee you.  But just for the record, it costs way more to tax payers to pay for that same woman’s pre-natal care and labor and delivery. 

It’s hard to even dignify the comparison of Medicaid funded abortions to government provided weaponry with a response.  It’s just not even the same.  Abortion is a medical procedure.  The state already provides medical care.  We’re just talking about not denying access to a medical procedure that is sometimes medically necessary, and sometimes in the best interest of the patient based on some motherfucking bureaucrats idea of morality.  If the shit is legal, then it should be accessible to everyone.  As it is now, the vast majority of unwanted babies are born to the mothers who can least afford to have them.  And then the system simply turns their back. 

I get so sick of reading posts by so many self-righteous people talking about how they would NEVER have an abortion and it is NEVER the right thing and how this fetus has RIGHTS, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah.  It’s really easy to say never when an issue remains at a distance.  I’ve learned never to say never.  It has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass.  There were women who commented on this blog who had the nerve to say that women who were raped and got pregnant should just carry that baby to term and give it up for adoption if they couldn’t handle it.  “It’s not the baby’s fault.”  Fuck you!  Come back and talk to me after you’ve been violated in such a way.  This group of cells has rights?  Well what am I all of a sudden, just some goddamn incubator?  A woman has rights too.  And that’s what seems sadly lost on all these dimwitted fucktards talking about all the promise of this new life from the day of conception.  At what point did women become reduced to mere fetal containers, and the rights of a microscopic group of cells without feelings, without reason, without any of the qualities that make us actual human beings trump ours?  Maybe that woman deserves a little consideration, too.

And for you conditional people, you know who you are, “it’s only ok if they’re raped or this or that”.  Well that shit will never work.  How do you propose we prove the rape?  My rapist went to trial over a year after my assault.  Fat lot of good an abortion would have done me then.  And what about all the rapists who get acquitted?  Doesn't make the woman any less pregnant.  Hell my piece of shit rapist took a plea deal.  Pled to burglary of an unoccupied structure.  Not rape at all.  What then?  And did you know that rapists can actually have parental rights?  That’s the fucked up world we live in. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not a fan of abortion.  I don’t think it’s a fun thing.  I don’t think it’s a choice that any right thinking woman ever makes lightly or easily.  But the idea people have that women are using it as birth control is a misconception.  A ludicrous misconception.  It is an expensive, painful, hard thing for any woman to go through.  But sometimes, it is the best option they have.  And ONLY they can make that decision.  So butt the fuck out.  Geez.

I hate everyone.  I needs to go to the Name.  Spanky where are you!!!!